


wasn't there a place for me, inside your heart?

by IntrovertedOwl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Don't expect anything good, F/M, Fix-It, JB deserved better, Post 8x04 AU, and doesn't think the books will anything similar, and we the fans deserved better, brienne deserved better, but i'm ignoring some stuff from there, but needed to do this for her sanity, i'm just writing this so i can at least function at work, jaime deserved better, just go along with it, ok it also kinda works as post 8x05, post-8x04, this author hates GoT with a passion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:56:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedOwl/pseuds/IntrovertedOwl
Summary: Fix-It. I don't even care what happens in 8x06. The books will be better. Spoilers, obviously.





	1. Chapter 1

Jaime had just gotten off the ship and was trying to get his bearings when he stopped short. He’d spent months on board trying to think of anything he could say or do, anything at all, but nothing had seemed adequate enough. All he knew was that he had to make an effort to – he _owed_ Brienne an explanation, the courtesy to look her in those beautiful, blue eyes, and explain why he had done what he had done, and beg – yes, _beg_ – for her forgiveness. Even if there was no hope for them anymore.

 

Nonetheless, he hadn’t been prepared to be facing her the moment he stepped on to Tarth soil, he’d thought he’d get more time, more time to think ( _as if 2 months on that bloody ship wasn’t enough_ , said that snide voice in his head that sounded remarkably like Tyrion).

 

“Brienne,” he said. And then stopped. Because those eyes, gods, those eyes. Her eyes were an open book, you could see exactly what she was feeling in her eyes.

 

And right now? Gods, they were cold. And angry. She hadn’t been this cold towards him since – since the first time they had met and started on that journey Catelyn Stark had set them on.

 

“Ser Jaime.”

 

“I – did T – how did you know I was coming?”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re the infamous Kingslayer with the golden hand. Not exactly inconspicuous. Word travels.”

 

He winced. _Kingslayer_. She hadn’t outright called him Kingslayer, but… it was close.

 

He deserved it.

 

She sighed. “What are you doing here, Ser Jaime?”

 

“I needed to – needed to talk to you. Explain myself. I didn’t like the way – how I --”

 

Gods, he was horrible at this. It was much easier to make a quick jape and smile knowingly  but – Brienne deserved a proper reply.

 

“I wanted to apologize.”

 

She waited.

 

“I didn’t – gods, Brienne, I never wanted to hurt you, I – I _had_ to – it was the only way, I was the only one who could --”

 

“The only one who could kill her?” asked Brienne. “I’m pretty sure Daenerys and her dragon did the job.”

 

He swallowed. “No, I know, I meant – I thought I could convince her to surrender. To end the war without bloodshed. To let – our baby live.”

 

Her only reaction was a sharp intake of breath, but he saw a flash of – _something_ – in her eyes, before she cut herself off again.

 

“But you didn’t, did you?”

 

Brienne may not have come to King’s Landing, but the entire realm knew the gist of what had happened. Daenerys and her dragon had burned down King’s Landing – along with Cersei and thousands of civilians. He had somehow survived the rubble only to see everyone else – including his brother and Jon Snow – in open rebellion against their Queen, the Mad Queen as people had started calling her.

 

The unrest that followed and the establishment of the new Kingdom with the new Council – letters had been written and sent to every corner of the Seven Kingdoms bearing news of the new rule. But no one knew what had happened in the Red Keep. Except Tyrion, in front of whom he’d nearly broken down, in the end.

 

“She was lying,” he said. “There never was a baby.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ignore the whole vague explanation of what happens with the Iron Throne in the end. I have a vague idea ofhow it COULD end (I don't think it'll be Jon, he REALLY doesn't want it), but well. It' not the point so.
> 
> And yeah I'm 100% convinced that's not how stuff happens in the books. There's a huge chance Jaime dies - with Cersei - in the books, but they butchered his character and the JB story and I'm PISSED. So. Yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo again, I've taken some stuff from 8x04 and 8x05, ignored others, referenced scenes that happened in the books and not the show... it's a mess, but hopefully one you can make sense of xD
> 
> (Thanks for all the love and the comments btw, it was lovely <3 we're all suffering but at least we're not alone <3)

_He’d been trying to get her away from the Red Keep, to surrender when there was still time, at least for the baby, and if Cersei wasn’t already scared because she had finally realized she might lose she might have continued the deception, but she then shook her head, “I lost the baby, Jaime.”_

_It had felt like a punch in the stomach, but there was no time for him to dwell on it as he tried to get them both out._

_Later, when the representatives from all the Seven Kingdoms had made it to King’s Landing, they found some of the serving maids and stablemen trapped in the kitchens, and as they were all trying to get some semblance of order in King’s Landing, and some degree of comfort in the Red Keep, they discovered that the moon tea was almost completely over, and further questioning of some of the surviving handmaids told them Cersei had been consuming it since the time they had made her Walk through the King’s Landing streets naked._

_In the absence of Qyburn and the rest, this seemed to be the only evidence they could get that Cersei might have been lying about the child all along, it certainly seemed to be something she would do, and Bronn who was the one who had brought the maids forward, seemed to be the only one not surprised. Perhaps there had been a baby and she lost it early on, or perhaps there never was one, the only thing that seemed certain was that she had continued to lie about the child and they had been fooled by it._

 

 

 

“You’re telling me,” Brienne said, in a voice edged with heavy sarcasm, “that neither you, who knew her so well, nor your brother, who in your own words is the smartest person you know and never trusted her, could have ever guessed that she was lying about being with child?”

 

“I --”

 

“When were you planning on leaving Tarth?” she asked.

 

“I was kind of hoping, well, hoping I wouldn’t have to make return arrangements --” He had chosen the wrong moment to make a lighthearted comment.

 

With barely concealed fury she informed him the next ship bound for King’s Landing was in three weeks and that they would extend him the courtesy of providing him the hospitality of Evenfall only till that time.

 

 

 

 

 

It was clear that he was an unwanted guest at Evenfall Hall. Not that anyone would really blame Lord Selwyn or his daughter for throwing him out to fend for himself. The notorious Kingslayer, now known to have had an “unholy relationship” with his twin sister, the same sister who had terrorized the whole of Westeros for months now. It was a miracle Lord Selwyn hadn’t insisted on putting him on the next ship out of Tarth. He wondered if it was because of Brienne; perhaps she had vouched for him the way she had in front of the Starks ( _that was before you broke her trust,_ he reminded himself, _they’re only being courteous to the Hand’s brother_ ).

 

But nothing pained him more than the way things stood between him and Brienne now. He had long since stopped lying to himself when it came to her. Her faith in his honour mattered to him, and while he knew he might lose it forever when he left her in Winterfell, he hadn’t thought there would be a chance of him surviving to _face_ that loss of good opinion. Making the choice between staying safe in Winterfell and leaving to save both his unborn child and King’s Landing was probably the most difficult decision he had ever made but once done, he had to make sure Brienne wouldn’t follow him to their deaths. Tyrion might have had faith in his Dragon Queen, but Jaime had too many dark memories of the Targaryen obsession with dragons and fire. He was almost certain he would die, but was going to keep Brienne as far away from the hell that was King’s Landing as he could.

 

But now, now that he had survived, now that they finally had a chance at peace – he couldn’t just go back without at least making an attempt to fix their friendship, if not more.

 

 

It was on his third day at Tarth that he overheard the servants gossiping near the stables.

 

“Endrew heard Addam talking to Lady Brienne, they were saying King Bran had offered the Lady the position of the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, but she said no because of her Lord Father.”

 

“That’s nonsense, you need to be a knight to be in the Kingsguard, and she’s a woman!”

 

“The Kingslayer knighted her, stupid. He did it in the presence of the Hand and others from the Council before the War at Winterfell.”

 

“And she’s fought the Hound and rescued Winterfell’s Queen and killed Kings and survived the War at Winterfell, that’s why they wanted her to be in the Kingsguard. But she refused.”

 

“So now what, they’ll get more Lords for her hand? That didn’t end well last time.”

 

The first boy shrugged. “She’s more famous now, and Tarth is in the good books of both King Bran and Winterfell’s Queen Sansa, thanks to her. No one’s going to care that she’s even more ugly now with all those scars.”

 

Jaime had half a mind to step into that conversation, if only to correct them about Brienne when she appeared herself and the boys scattered.

 

“You didn’t tell me you were offered the Lord Commander’s position.”

 

She jumped. A flicker of annoyance passed in her eyes, either because of him, or because he managed to startle her. “How did you hear about that?”

 

“People like gossiping.”

 

She huffed. “The letter came yesterday. From your brother. My answer to him was same as it was to Lady Sansa. I’ve fulfilled my oath to Lady Catelyn, and my father needs me more at present.”

 

“Needs you to be betrothed?” The words slipped out of him before he could help it, but he didn’t regret them.

 

Her eyes flashed. “I don’t think that is your concern, Ser.”

 

His thoughts flew back to that time when he had first found out about Brienne’s previous betrothals in Harrenhal, from that sorry excuse of a knight who he had sent away to White Harbour. Tarth may be in a better position now than it used to be, but there was still unrest and instability from the constant wars in Westeros. It would be some time before marriages would be sought. And till then…

 

“It is if it’s another brainless landed knight with an inflated ego.” Brienne stilled. “I met the man in Harrenhal when I was going to Riverrun to end the siege. Is that to be your future? You deserve better than the likes of him!”

 

“And who would that be?” She turned to face him, lips thinned, eyes blazing. “You? At least I shall know what I’m getting into with these men, which is more than I could say of you.”

 

And with that she left, and as Jaime saw her walk away, he realized she had a point. He didn’t just have a problem with her betrothed being a vain halfwit. He had a problem with her betrothed not being _him_. And he had less than three weeks to earn back Brienne's trust and her Lord father's, if he wanted to be considered a favourable suitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like. I realized while writing this that having a miscarriage would be an easier explanation and that I worded it wrong last chapter, lmao, so I tried to twist in an explanation somehow, not sure if it's believable, but hey, this is a show that tried to make us believe Dany didn't see the ships when she was flying on Drogon and that Tyrion is pro Cersei and Jaime doesn't care about innocent people after 5 books and 7 seasons of showing the opposite so like. Who cares. lol.


End file.
